Fk this Somi. I have to have a form of autism. There is something wrong, I know it for sure now. Is this why I like programming so much? Is it that I can't get the positive emotions from social contact because of my limitations which causes me to get less total joy out of life? so relatively boring stuff like programming behind a screen all day is fun for me? If I where capable to experience social interactions like normies would I want to party and date and stuff? That is why I can't explain it to normies, because they already understand it, they just experience different levels of joy that I can never experience.

Please I want to get of this train and end this trip. Get me out.